Advocates Need to Be Sure They are Helping for the Right Reasons

Part1: When Advocates Become Saviors, Victim Harm Follows

People who try to “save” others, often without being asked, can be driven by several different motivations. Some are psychological, some are emotional, and others are shaped by past experiences or identity issues.

Understanding the Savior Impulse

You have likely seen it in online support groups or heard it in conversations: scam victims, still grappling with their own pain, step forward to guide others through the same darkness. This impulse to help, even amidst personal recovery, is both profound and complex. Scam victims are uniquely drawn to aiding their peers, driven by a blend of empathy, shared experience, and a deep need to find meaning in their suffering. Their journey through deception and betrayal forges a bond with others who have faced similar losses, creating a pull to offer support that is hard to ignore. Yet, this desire is not without risks, as good intentions can sometimes lead to unintended harm when healing is incomplete or expertise is lacking. Understanding why you, as a scam victim, might feel compelled to help others is the first step toward ensuring your support is both effective and safe, a topic explored through the motivations that follow.

The problem is that you may not be qualified to do this.

As a scam victim, eager to reach out to others who have endured similar betrayals, driven by an urge to share your hard-won insights, can be harmful to others. This desire to help fellow victims is a powerful force, rooted in the raw emotions and psychological shifts that follow a scam’s devastation. Whether it is the need to redeem past mistakes, reclaim control after powerlessness, or project your own unresolved pain onto others, your impulse to guide those still suffering often feels noble and urgent. Yet, this well-meaning drive can lead to unintended consequences, as untrained efforts to save others may cause emotional harm or delay their healing. The motivations behind your wish to help, from trauma-driven compulsion to a search for validation, reveal a complex interplay of personal needs and good intentions, which, without care and proper training, can turn advocacy into a savior’s misstep and grave harm for the victims. Bad advice has led to the death of scam victims.

Negative Motivations

Below are the main types of motivations commonly observed in self-appointed saviors:

1. Personal Redemption or Guilt Compensation

Some people try to save others to make up for past mistakes or unresolved guilt. They may have hurt someone in the past, failed to protect someone they cared about, or lived through a traumatic event where they felt powerless. “Saving” someone now becomes a way to feel morally clean or emotionally redeemed. This is often subconscious.

2. Control and Power Disguised as Help

Not all savior behavior is truly altruistic. Some people seek control. Offering “help” gives them emotional leverage. They may frame their actions as care or concern, but what they really want is influence over someone else’s decisions, feelings, or loyalty. This is especially common in codependent or toxic dynamics.

3. Inflated Self-Worth or Identity Dependence

Some individuals base their identity or self-esteem on being needed. They only feel valuable when they are helping others. If no one needs saving, they may feel empty, invisible, or unimportant. This leads to chronic over-involvement in other people’s problems, even when the help is unasked for or unhelpful.

4. Projection of Unmet Needs

Saviors often project their own inner struggles onto others. They see themselves in the victim and try to rescue the person as a stand-in for saving themselves. For example, someone who was emotionally abandoned might fixate on helping someone else who seems lonely, not realizing they’re reenacting their own wound.

5. Messiah Complex or Moral Superiority

This type of motivation comes from a belief that the savior knows best. They feel they have the insight, strength, or purity others lack. They may think they’re “chosen” to guide, fix, or enlighten others. This often masks arrogance, even when presented with empathy or kindness.

6. Avoidance of Their Own Problems

Helping others can be a distraction. Instead of dealing with their own issues, grief, shame, regret, anxiety, a person may pour themselves into fixing someone else’s crisis. It feels productive and virtuous, but it’s also a form of avoidance. Their own pain gets buried under the weight of another person’s story.

7. Compulsion Rooted in Trauma or Hyper-Empathy

People who grew up in unstable or abusive environments often develop hyper-vigilance to the needs and emotions of others. They may feel compelled to help, even when it drains them. This kind of saviorism is trauma-driven. It’s not about control or ego, but survival programming that never shut off.

8. Desire for Belonging or Relationship Security

Sometimes people try to save others because they believe it will secure connection. They think, If I’m the one who helps them, they’ll love me or they’ll never leave. In these cases, saviorism is rooted in fear of abandonment or rejection. Help is offered as emotional currency.

Saviors Believe They are Qualified

Scam victims often believe they are instantly qualified to help other traumatized victims recover for a combination of emotional, psychological, and cognitive reasons. This belief is usually driven by urgency, projection, and a desire to make meaning out of their suffering. Below are the main reasons this happens:

1. Projection of Their Own Experience

Many victims assume their experience is universal. They believe that because they suffered, learned certain lessons, or escaped the scam, they can now guide others using that same path. This projection ignores the complexity and variation in trauma responses. What helped one person may retraumatize another. But in the early stages of recovery, that distinction often isn’t clear.

2. Desire for Control After Powerlessness

Scam victimization often leaves a person feeling powerless, ashamed, and confused. Helping someone else offers a way to reclaim control. It gives the illusion of mastery over something that once overwhelmed them. The act of “helping” becomes a psychological reversal of their own helplessness. They may think, If I can help someone else, it means I’m okay now.

3. Unhealed Trauma Masquerading as Purpose

Victims in the early or middle stages of trauma may seek to bypass their own emotional work by diving into someone else’s crisis. They often confuse emotional urgency with capability. Rather than fully processing their own grief, shame, or betrayal, they redirect that energy outward. It feels noble and productive—but it’s a form of emotional avoidance.

4. Validation-Seeking Through Support Roles

Being seen as a helper or guide can offer emotional validation that many scam victims have lost. After being manipulated and deceived, taking on the role of supporter restores a sense of dignity. Some victims want others to see them as strong, wise, or recovered, even if their own healing is incomplete. Helping becomes a way to rebuild identity.

5. Overconfidence From Surviving, Not Healing

Surviving the scam is not the same as healing from it. Many victims who have merely exited the scam believe that leaving equals recovery. They mistake relief for resilience and assume that escaping the scam gives them immediate insight into others’ trauma. Without training or introspection, they don’t recognize the depth of psychological damage still at work.

6. Misunderstanding of Psychological Recovery

Recovery from psychological trauma is not intuitive. It requires education, structure, boundaries, and a clear understanding of trauma-informed principles. Scam victims rarely have this. Most have never studied trauma, cognitive distortions, emotional regulation, or secondary harm. But in online support spaces, personal experience is often mistaken for expertise.

7. Emotional Rescue Fantasy

Some scam victims adopt the role of rescuer. They fixate on “saving” others to give their pain meaning. This is a fantasy of emotional redemption, often rooted in unresolved guilt. For example, a victim who ignored warnings or red flags may feel compelled to protect others in the way they wish they had been protected. The motivation is emotional, not ethical.

8. Echo Chambers and Reinforcement

Many victims are exposed to unmoderated online groups where shared experience is mistaken for authority. Inside these echo chambers, emotional storytelling replaces qualified guidance. Victims see others claiming to help, so they follow that model. The environment reinforces the idea that anyone who suffered can lead, advise, or correct others—regardless of psychological readiness.

9. Lack of Awareness of Harm

Most victims who try to help are not malicious. They believe they are being generous. What they don’t see is how easy it is to retraumatize someone with the wrong words, advice, or assumptions. Untrained helpers may shame victims for not moving fast enough, blame them for missing red flags, or pressure them into actions they’re not ready to take. Without boundaries and self-awareness, good intentions often cause emotional harm.

PART 2: Guide to Becoming a Safe and Effective Advocate for Scam Victims

Embracing Your Desire to Help

You have felt the sting of a scam, the betrayal that lingers long after the loss. Now, a fire burns within you to help others navigate the same treacherous path. This desire to advocate for fellow scam victims is a powerful force, born from empathy and a need to transform your pain into purpose. Yet, as you step into this role, you must tread carefully. Untrained efforts can harm those you aim to support, as good intentions alone do not equip you to guide others safely. I just want to make a difference, you might think, but true advocacy requires knowledge, boundaries, and a commitment to do no harm. This guide offers you a clear path to become a real advocate, one who uplifts victims without risking their emotional or psychological well-being.

Understanding the Risks of Untrained Advocacy

Your urge to help stems from a deep connection to other victims, but acting on it without preparation can lead to unintended consequences. You might offer advice that worked for you, only to find it retraumatizes someone else. Why didn’t they listen to me? you could wonder, not realizing their trauma differs from yours. Untrained advocates may inadvertently shame victims for their pace of recovery, push them toward actions they are not ready for, or project personal struggles onto others. The SCARS Institute notes that such missteps can deepen victims’ shame or delay healing, sometimes with severe outcomes. Recognizing these risks is your first step toward responsible advocacy.

Educating Yourself on Trauma and Recovery

To help others safely, you need a solid foundation in understanding trauma. Psychological recovery is not intuitive; it demands education. Start by learning about trauma-informed care, a framework that prioritizes safety, trust, and empowerment. Resources like the SCARS Institute’s educational materials can teach you how trauma affects the brain, shaping victims’ emotions and decisions. Study concepts like cognitive distortions, where victims might blame themselves, or hyper-vigilance, which can make trust difficult. Books on trauma, such as those recommended by reputable organizations, offer deeper insights into these dynamics.

You should also explore the stages of scam recovery, from shock and denial to acceptance and integration. Each victim moves through these at their own pace. Understanding this variability helps you avoid assuming your journey mirrors theirs. Online courses, webinars, or workshops on trauma recovery, often available through victim support networks, can further your knowledge. This education equips you to recognize when your advice might harm rather than heal.

An excellent place to start learning is at the SCARS Institute’s FREE Scam Survivor’s School – available free for scam victims and their families, and advocates and professionals, at www.SCARSeducation.org

Seeking Formal Training or Certification

While personal experience is valuable, it is not enough to guide others effectively. Formal training in counseling, peer support, or victim advocacy provides you with tools to help safely. Look for programs accredited by recognized organizations, such as those listed by the SCARS Institute, which emphasize trauma-informed principles. These programs teach you how to listen actively, set boundaries, and avoid retraumatization. I thought I was helping, you might reflect after a misstep, but training helps you spot and prevent such errors.

Certification in peer support or victim advocacy, offered by community organizations or online platforms, can enhance your credibility and skills. These courses often cover ethical guidelines, such as maintaining confidentiality and respecting victims’ autonomy. If you lack access to formal training, free resources like SCARS Institute’s guides on supporting scam victims can serve as a starting point. Commit to ongoing learning, as advocacy requires staying updated on best practices.

We also recommend taking trauma-informed care certification through NICABM.org and NOVA

Developing Active Listening Skills

One of the most powerful tools you can offer as an advocate is your ability to listen. Active listening means hearing victims without judgment, interruption, or the urge to fix their problems immediately. You might feel tempted to share your story or offer solutions, but this can overshadow their needs. Practice reflecting what you hear: It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed right now. This validates their emotions and builds trust.

To hone this skill, engage in role-playing exercises with trusted peers or join support groups where you can practice listening. Pay attention to body language and tone, even in online settings, to gauge unspoken feelings. By prioritizing listening over advising, you create a safe space for victims to process their experiences, a cornerstone of effective advocacy.

Setting Clear Boundaries

Your enthusiasm to help can pull you too deeply into others’ struggles, risking burnout or blurred lines. Boundaries protect both you and the victims you support. Decide how much time and emotional energy you can give without draining yourself. For example, you might limit advocacy work to a few hours weekly or avoid responding to messages late at night. I can’t take on everyone’s pain, you might realize, and that is okay.

Communicate boundaries clearly to those you help. Let them know your role is to support, not to solve their problems entirely. Avoid sharing personal contact details or becoming overly involved in their lives, as this can lead to dependency or emotional entanglement. The SCARS Institute emphasizes that boundaries maintain professionalism and prevent harm, ensuring your advocacy remains sustainable.

Learn about the SCARS Institute’s ethical standards here: AgainstScams.org/scars-ethics-standards-2024/

Recognizing Your Own Healing Needs

Your experience as a scam victim fuels your passion, but it also means you are still healing. Unresolved trauma can cloud your judgment, leading you to project your struggles onto others or seek validation through helping. “If I save them, I prove I’m okay,” you might think, but this can harm both you and those you support. Regularly check in with yourself. Are you helping to avoid your own pain? Are you triggered by others’ stories?

Seek therapy and enroll in our training for scam victims to process your emotions. By prioritizing your healing, you model resilience for those you help, showing that recovery is an ongoing process, not a race to completion.

Collaborating with Established Organizations

You do not have to advocate alone. Partnering with reputable organizations amplifies your impact and ensures your efforts align with best practices. Real nonprofit organizations like the SCARS Institute offer platforms to share your story, contribute to educational efforts, or volunteer in structured programs. We provide oversight, reducing the risk of harm from untrained advocacy. They also connect you with professionals who can handle complex cases beyond your expertise.

Reach out to local or online victim support networks to explore volunteer opportunities. You might assist with awareness campaigns, moderate support groups, or share resources. Collaboration grounds your advocacy in a broader framework, ensuring victims receive consistent, safe support.

Remember that you are also personally responsible for the liability for what you do!

Practicing Ethical Advocacy

Ethics are the backbone of safe advocacy. Always prioritize the victim’s autonomy, letting them make their own decisions. Avoid pressuring them to report the scam, confront their scammer, or move on faster than they are ready. “You should just get over it,” you might be tempted to say, but such words can shame or alienate. Instead, empower victims by offering options and respecting their choices.

Maintain confidentiality, sharing no details about those you help without their consent, unless required by law. Be honest about your qualifications, admitting when a situation requires professional intervention. If a victim shows signs of severe distress, such as suicidal thoughts, guide them to crisis hotlines or mental health services immediately. Ethical advocacy means knowing your limits and acting in the victim’s best interest, always.

Learn about the SCARS Institute’s ethical standards here: AgainstScams.org/scars-ethics-standards-2024/

Building a Supportive Community

Your advocacy can extend beyond individual support to fostering a community where victims feel safe. Create or join online groups with clear rules against judgment or unsolicited advice. Encourage members to share at their own pace and validate each other’s experiences. I felt so alone until I found this group, a victim might say, highlighting the power of community.

Moderate discussions to prevent harmful advice, such as blaming victims for falling for scams. Share resources from trusted sources like the SCARS Institute to educate members on safe recovery practices. By nurturing a supportive environment, you help victims find strength in connection, reducing the isolation that scams often bring.

Evaluating Your Impact

As you grow as an advocate, regularly assess your impact. Are victims feeling heard and empowered? Are you avoiding harm? Seek feedback from those you help, asking open-ended questions like What was most helpful for you? Reflect on their responses to refine your approach. If you notice patterns of distress or resistance, revisit your training or consult a mentor.

Track your own well-being, too. If advocacy feels overwhelming, step back and reassess your boundaries. Effective advocates balance impact with self-care, ensuring they can serve others without sacrificing themselves. Your growth as an advocate is a journey, one that evolves with each lesson learned.

Addressing Your Motivations to Avoid Saviorism

Understand your motivations, like seeking redemption, control, or validation, which can lead to harmful saviorism. To advocate safely, you must confront these impulses. If you feel driven by guilt, perhaps thinking I need to save them to make up for my mistakes, pause and reflect. Channel that energy into learning trauma-informed practices instead of rushing to fix others. If you crave control after the powerlessness of a scam, focus on empowering victims, not directing their choices. “I want to guide them my way,” you might think, but true advocacy respects their path.

If your identity hinges on being needed, seek validation through personal growth or therapy, not others’ dependence. Trauma-driven hyper-empathy, common in those from unstable backgrounds, can push you to overhelp. “I can’t stop until they’re okay,” you might feel, but boundaries will protect you both. By addressing these motivations, you avoid the pitfalls of saviorism, ensuring your advocacy heals rather than harms.

Navigating Online Support Spaces

Online groups are often where you’ll advocate, but they can be echo chambers that reinforce unqualified negative advice. Note how these spaces often mistake shared experience for expertise. To counter this, promote evidence-based resources in groups you join. Share SCARS Institute articles or trauma recovery guides, encouraging members to seek professional support when needed. If you moderate a group, set rules against shaming or pressuring victims, fostering a space where diverse recovery paths are respected.

You might encounter victims acting as saviors, driven by the motivations your article describes. Gently guide them toward training, saying “Your passion is amazing; have you considered a peer support course?” This redirects their energy without judgment, protecting the community from harm.

Advocating Through Awareness Campaigns

Raising awareness about scams is a powerful form of advocacy that minimizes direct emotional risks. You can create social media posts, write blog articles, or speak at community events, sharing your story to educate others (www.ScamSurvivorStories.org.) Focus on prevention tips, like recognizing phishing emails, and direct audiences to resources like the SCARS Institute’s scam prevention guides. I wish I’d known this before, victims often say, and your campaigns can spare others that regret.

Ensure your messaging avoids victim-blaming. Instead of “You should’ve seen the red flags,” emphasize that Scammers are skilled at deception. This approach educates without shaming, aligning with ethical advocacy principles.

Sustaining Your Advocacy Long-Term

Advocacy is a marathon, not a sprint. To sustain it, build a support network of fellow advocates who share your commitment to ethical practices. Join forums or attend conferences hosted by victim support organizations to exchange ideas and stay motivated. “I’m not alone in this work,” you’ll realize, finding strength in community.

Regularly revisit your training to stay current on trauma research and advocacy techniques. The SCARS Institute often updates its resources, offering new insights. By investing in your growth, you ensure your advocacy remains relevant and impactful, helping victims for years to come.

Moving Forward with Purpose

Your desire to help scam victims is a gift, a spark that can light the way for others. By educating yourself, seeking training, listening actively, and addressing your motivations, you transform that desire into safe, impactful advocacy. You become a beacon of hope, guiding victims toward healing without the pitfalls of saviorism. “I can make a real difference,” you will realize, not through unchecked passion, but through careful, ethical support. With these tools, you are ready to advocate responsibly, honoring both your journey and those you help.